Oath

According to the Webster dictionary an Oath is a solemn, usually formal calling upon God or a god to witness to the truth of what one says or to witness that one sincerely intends to do what one says (2) : a solemn attestation of the truth or inviolability of one's words b : something (as a promise) corroborated by an oath.

This past Tuesday I attended Jose's oath ceremony to become a US citizen. It was held at a courthouse in the area, a lot of people, from a lot of different countries were there to go through the process of swearing in.

It was a very emotional day for everyone. I can't speak for Jose, but I'm sure he was happy, it was something he had worked hard for this last year. For me, well, what can I say, I am more than happy, I'm excited, I'm anxious, I'm hopeful, because him taking a step further and becoming a citizen, means I'm a step closer to becoming a resident, a step closer to a good job, to being fully independent, closer to that feeling of FREEDOM.

At the ceremony I loved listening to all the different accents, to me it's just amazing how the same language can change so much yet still mean the same.

The judge leading the ceremony gave a speech about what it meant to be a citizen, people took their oath and then everyone said the Pledge of Allegiance.

He also spoke about how becoming a citizen made them Full Americans, not Mexican-Americans, not Russian-Americans, not any kind of hyphenated American, but simply Americans.

One of the most moving moments for the audience was when the judge asked the new citizens to, in their words, express what it meant to them to be an American...people took turns talking about their experiences, about how long they had waited for that moment, about how long ago they had left their countries and so on.

A young beautiful woman spoke about how her dream was to become a nurse and how her dream had come true in America. Another woman spoke about how hard it had been for her to make the decision of becoming a citizen, since she was (and is) so fond of her homeland.

But there was a middle aged man that got up to speak, and he said something that to me just shows exactly what it is to become an American, this what he had to say...I quote.."When I first came to this country I asked my self; what can this country do for me? what does this country have to offer me? But now, as an American I ask myself, What can I do for this country? What do I have to offer this country, MY COUNTRY"

I'm sure every new citizen had their own story to tell, their own hardships to go trough before taking that oath, their own country to miss, but I'm also sure that every one of them thinks of America as their home.

It will be a long time before I get to stand before of a judge to take that oath, a long time before I get to hold a certificate stating that I am AN AMERICAN, but I know that that day will come, and I know that I will be ready to call America MY HOME.

Has it really been that long?

Wow, almost exaclty a year ago was my last entry on this blog. Many things have happened since then, some good, some bad.... Well, thankfully my son recovered fully from his dive from a second story house onto concrete....it will be a year of that on the 23rd.....I'm back in the US, yes, back where the days are slow and winter is cold...not much has changed in town....but there have been many changes in my life....I've met new people, I've made new friends. Sadly I've also lost many friends, some I regret losing, some I now realize weren't really such a big loss. I guess my new life style doesn't fit into their perfect life style, maybe, I don't know.

I've become this horrible person, that does what she wants without worrying what people say, I've gotten closer to God and farther from church, I've given up an unhealthy relationship that only caused hurt, I've taken jobs cleaning houses and selling hotdogs, just so I can be independant, I've started a relationship with a guy that takes me on bike rides and is not scared of showing me (or anybody else) how in love he is with me.....and the worse thing....I AM HAPPY.. yeah, shocking! According to some people I should be miserable, actually according to some people I look miserable! and bitter! well, maybe some days I am miserable and bitter, but honestly, most days, specially those days I get to hang out with my children or when I am on the back of a motorcycle on Skyline drive, I'm happy.

And I don't have to worry anymore about seeming happy all the time, and having this happy face for the world and worry that my friends or people at church would know how really my marriage is not that great and my life is not that good, and I'm really not that happy and I better load up on my antidepressants and antianxiety just to make it through one more day of my perfect little life in my perfect little house with the white picket fence.

Thank goodness my life is not perfect anymore ( I sometimes miss the house though, haha), my life is a mess, I'm going through a nasty separation, and not looking forward to the actual legal divorce, I have to "share" my kids with my ex so I don't see them two weekends a month, I sell hot dogs one day and clean toilets the next, I have a boyfriend that is crazy about me(yes, I have a boyfriend, and yes I'm still not fully divorced). I've been labeled and pointed at and what not, I feel like I live out of my car sometimes, and my true friends I can count with the fingers of one hand, but like I said, I'm happy, I'm not afraid to say it.....

This last year many things happened, many things changed, but the most important thing is that I've realized what it is that I really wanted....I came up with a phrase that keeps popping in my head every time I feel like I should care about what people have to say..."I lived my teens doing what my mom wanted me to do, I lived my 20's doing what my husband (ex) wanted me to do, I plan on living my 30's doing what I want to do" and, THAT, my friends is the truth....