Hi everyone, I'm happy to tell you that I'm writing from Mexico, I love the US, it's a place a called home for a very long time, but at this point in my life I felt I needed to go back to my roots, to be able to regain an identity that seemed to be fading away.
I've been in my hometown for about two weeks now, and I must say, it feels really weird, everything is so different, yet the same, the town has grown so much, there's new schools, stores and so on on every corner, and overpasses everywhere. But the people is the same, the tight bonds shared with family and friends are as strong as ever, unweakened by time, if anything, stronger even.
It was so strange walking into my parents house, althoug it has been remodeled and has additions and what not, it was like I had been there yesterday and nothing was new, the same smells and sounds were still there, it almost broght tears to my eyes when I went in what used to be my room, now with a huge closet I wish had been there in my teenage years, hahaha.
My children love being around so many cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends, for them language is not a barrier, they are happy just to play with whomever is visiting at the moment and enjoy every bit of it.
I'm still on the quest of becoming an American, but this time it will be on different terms, and even if takes 20 more years, I know one day I'll hold in my hands the "green card" I've so longed for.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Economy
Like many other Americans, my husband and I have been struggling to make ends meet, from the rising prices at the grocery store to the skyrocketing price of gas it just seems harder than ever to stretch our dollar. So we were really excited to hear about the rebate checks the government was planning to send out to stimulate the economy and help out during this recession ( not a word George Bush chose to use on his speech last week), we didn't have big plans for this money, we weren't gonna go on vacation, or buying a new TV, not even new clothes, we were gonna simply catch up on bills and put the rest in the bank for using later for paying more bills and groceries.
After filing for it (jointly) we waited, and waited and waited, finally my husband called IRS last week and was told something we could not believe, we did not qualify for it, because I don't have a social security number yet, my husband was sure this must be a mistake, he thought maybe the person he spoke to on the phone was misinformed or confused or simply stupid, how could this be, my husband is a legal resident, has been for more than six years, our two children are American citizens, and I have been on the immigration process for more than five years, this had to be a mistake.
Well, it wasn't a mistake, it's true, according to a news article on yahoo (link below) the IRS made it a rule that nobody with a foreign spouse without a social security number would qualify for this rebate, in order to prevent "illegals" to get the money, I guess fearing they would spend it on their own country instead of the US.
I understand the reasoning behind this rule, and it really wouldn't be fair for the money to go to other countries when it's meant to somehow restore the economy of the USA, but at the same time, I think is unfair that many hard working legal immigrants like my husband cannot benefit from something like this when it's not his fault (or mine) that the legalization process takes so long. We like everybody else, live in the US, spend our money here, and pay taxes here, maybe IRS should've thought this through a little better.
As you can read in the news article, not only "Mexicans" will be affected by this, but many "All American" military man and woman, who put their life at risk everyday for our country will suffer the consequences as well if their spouses are like me on the long immigration process.
Maybe I don't deserve $600 dls. even if I was going to spend them here, but I think my husband who works hard every day to put a roof over my head, and my children, who are just like any other American children, deserve what every one else is getting.
http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/ap/ap_on_bi_ge/storytext/tax_rebates_left_out/27431478/SIG=10kt0t3ql/*http://www.irs.gov
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080511/ap_on_bi_ge/tax_rebates_left_out
After filing for it (jointly) we waited, and waited and waited, finally my husband called IRS last week and was told something we could not believe, we did not qualify for it, because I don't have a social security number yet, my husband was sure this must be a mistake, he thought maybe the person he spoke to on the phone was misinformed or confused or simply stupid, how could this be, my husband is a legal resident, has been for more than six years, our two children are American citizens, and I have been on the immigration process for more than five years, this had to be a mistake.
Well, it wasn't a mistake, it's true, according to a news article on yahoo (link below) the IRS made it a rule that nobody with a foreign spouse without a social security number would qualify for this rebate, in order to prevent "illegals" to get the money, I guess fearing they would spend it on their own country instead of the US.
I understand the reasoning behind this rule, and it really wouldn't be fair for the money to go to other countries when it's meant to somehow restore the economy of the USA, but at the same time, I think is unfair that many hard working legal immigrants like my husband cannot benefit from something like this when it's not his fault (or mine) that the legalization process takes so long. We like everybody else, live in the US, spend our money here, and pay taxes here, maybe IRS should've thought this through a little better.
As you can read in the news article, not only "Mexicans" will be affected by this, but many "All American" military man and woman, who put their life at risk everyday for our country will suffer the consequences as well if their spouses are like me on the long immigration process.
Maybe I don't deserve $600 dls. even if I was going to spend them here, but I think my husband who works hard every day to put a roof over my head, and my children, who are just like any other American children, deserve what every one else is getting.
http://us.rd.yahoo.com/dailynews/ap/ap_on_bi_ge/storytext/tax_rebates_left_out/27431478/SIG=10kt0t3ql/*http://www.irs.gov
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080511/ap_on_bi_ge/tax_rebates_left_out
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Anchor Babies
People have babies for many reasons, because they are in love, because they want to feel loved, because it was the right time, because it was the next step, because their biologic clock is tick, tick, ticking away. But according to some of the media, illegal immigrants have babies with just one reason in mind, to obtain legal citizenship. Babies born in the US from ilegal parents are refered to as anchor babies.
Well, I must have missed the memo, because after two intense 24 hr. labors, two painful epidurals, hours of pushing, couple gallons of blood, a six pound girl and an eight pound boy, I wasn't granted such thing.
I've been on the immigration waiting line for 5 yrs. and after many sleepless nights, thousands of dollars on baby diapers and needless to say Hospital Bills!! I keep waiting, so if there's such thing as Automatic Legalization just for having a baby in the US, I must say I feel duped, because if that was the only reason to have children I would've stopped after one painful delivery!
The only way to obtain legal citizenship through your children is to wait till they become of legal age (like driving and voting age) and for them to apply for you and sponsor you, and of course that would at least take a couple years.
Having children, as anybody that has them knows, is very expensive and it's a lifetime commitment, so I wonder who would be stupid enough to want to have children for a green card, facts remain, people will keep having babies for many different reasons, I just will have to disagree when anyone says that legalization is one of them.
Well, I must have missed the memo, because after two intense 24 hr. labors, two painful epidurals, hours of pushing, couple gallons of blood, a six pound girl and an eight pound boy, I wasn't granted such thing.
I've been on the immigration waiting line for 5 yrs. and after many sleepless nights, thousands of dollars on baby diapers and needless to say Hospital Bills!! I keep waiting, so if there's such thing as Automatic Legalization just for having a baby in the US, I must say I feel duped, because if that was the only reason to have children I would've stopped after one painful delivery!
The only way to obtain legal citizenship through your children is to wait till they become of legal age (like driving and voting age) and for them to apply for you and sponsor you, and of course that would at least take a couple years.
Having children, as anybody that has them knows, is very expensive and it's a lifetime commitment, so I wonder who would be stupid enough to want to have children for a green card, facts remain, people will keep having babies for many different reasons, I just will have to disagree when anyone says that legalization is one of them.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Broken Home
Hi everyone, sorry I haven't updated like I should, but this blogging thing has proven to be a lot harder than I thought, writing about my feelings, and sharing it with so many of you, has opened a door I thought long closed. I find myself missing my family and my country more and more each day. I thought I had assimilated, I thought I wasn't homesick anymore, I thought I was happy, but to be honest, now I don't really know what I think.
I picture myself feeling like a child from divorced parents might feel... I have two countries I love, each of them has given me so much, and now I'm torn apart, trying to decide where I really want to be, which one I love the most.
Do I want to be in Mexico? Where my family is, where I spent the first 20 years of my life, where I became who I am today? Do I want to live in the US, where my children were born, where I found a whole new family made of loving and caring friends and where I've grown so much?
Some of you might say, "Just go back to your country if you miss it that much", but the thing is, THIS is my country too!! At least I think so sometimes, and some other times I feel like such an outsider, do other people feel like me? I remember feeling like an outsider in Mexico sometimes, I guess you can feel like an outsider in your own family....
What would you do? Have you ever felt like me?
I picture myself feeling like a child from divorced parents might feel... I have two countries I love, each of them has given me so much, and now I'm torn apart, trying to decide where I really want to be, which one I love the most.
Do I want to be in Mexico? Where my family is, where I spent the first 20 years of my life, where I became who I am today? Do I want to live in the US, where my children were born, where I found a whole new family made of loving and caring friends and where I've grown so much?
Some of you might say, "Just go back to your country if you miss it that much", but the thing is, THIS is my country too!! At least I think so sometimes, and some other times I feel like such an outsider, do other people feel like me? I remember feeling like an outsider in Mexico sometimes, I guess you can feel like an outsider in your own family....
What would you do? Have you ever felt like me?
Monday, April 14, 2008
TOhis BE or NOT TO BE
I understand the frustration of tax paying US citizens, how many times have I heard that on the news or read it on the paper, people are tired of illegal immigrants who don't pay taxes and take advantage of the government benefits. Why won't they just become legal?
It is the purpose of my blog to express in a respectful way, the views of the so called illegal immigrants.
I came into this country with a tourist visa, it wasn't really my intention to stay, I loved my country, and yes, I won't lie, the are many wrong things with it, we had a very corrupt government for many years, the current President is still trying to clean out all the scorn that made it's way into official positions, I didn't have the best clothes or the latest gadgets, but I wasn't starving either, I got and education and could make a descent living for my self.
Nevertheless, I stayed, I was pregnant when I got here, and by the time I was supposed to be on my way, I was already too far into my pregnancy to risk going all the way back. So I gave birth to my first "Anchor Baby" , a term which most of the media (Glen Beck being one of them) uses to refer to the children of illegal immigrants born on USA soil. (I will cover the Anchor Baby topic on another entry). I didn't apply for residency then, because I was going to go back to Mexico, and I did, and I would've done it earlier if it hadn't been a risk to my pregnancy.
While I was in Mexico, Jose (the father of my baby), whose father had applied for his legal residency about 10 years back, got a call from immigration, they had an answer for him, he traveled to Ciudad Juarez in Mexico and was granted permanent residency in the US. He had to go back to the US within the next 30 days, so he did. All of a sudden I found myself, at 20 yrs. old, with a fatherless newborn. Jose (my baby's father) went back to the states, got a job, and would send money every month, he missed the first 8 months of our baby's life, it was then, that I decided I should join him, we needed to be together, as a family. I applied for another tourist visa, and since I wasn't going to work I wasn't doing anything Illegal. Then I got pregnant again, 40 weeks later I had my second baby (yeah another one of those anchor babies), and it was then that I decided I really did want to live here, and I should apply for my legal residency. I did so in February '03.
It's now 2008, it's been five years since I filed my application, I haven't done anything illegal on the meantime, I haven't run through a red light, or drove under the influence, or any of those things illegal aliens are best known for. Because I'm on a legalization process, it would be illegal for me to work, so I don't. We live on my husband's moderate income. And it's really hard to afford a family of four with one income, my husband usually works more than two jobs so we can make ends meet. Because I don't want to do anything illegal I have to struggle daily knowing I could be out there with the rest of the "criminals" working to put food on my kids table.
So I understand what being illegal means, and I also understand the importance of trying to become legal. But I certainly understand the question that many immigrants face daily in this country To Be or Not to Be. For many to be illegal means being able to work and try to make a better living for their families, for many others like me to be legal (or on the process of it) means to watch your family struggle and know that there's a long wait before you can do anything about it.
It is the purpose of my blog to express in a respectful way, the views of the so called illegal immigrants.
I came into this country with a tourist visa, it wasn't really my intention to stay, I loved my country, and yes, I won't lie, the are many wrong things with it, we had a very corrupt government for many years, the current President is still trying to clean out all the scorn that made it's way into official positions, I didn't have the best clothes or the latest gadgets, but I wasn't starving either, I got and education and could make a descent living for my self.
Nevertheless, I stayed, I was pregnant when I got here, and by the time I was supposed to be on my way, I was already too far into my pregnancy to risk going all the way back. So I gave birth to my first "Anchor Baby" , a term which most of the media (Glen Beck being one of them) uses to refer to the children of illegal immigrants born on USA soil. (I will cover the Anchor Baby topic on another entry). I didn't apply for residency then, because I was going to go back to Mexico, and I did, and I would've done it earlier if it hadn't been a risk to my pregnancy.
While I was in Mexico, Jose (the father of my baby), whose father had applied for his legal residency about 10 years back, got a call from immigration, they had an answer for him, he traveled to Ciudad Juarez in Mexico and was granted permanent residency in the US. He had to go back to the US within the next 30 days, so he did. All of a sudden I found myself, at 20 yrs. old, with a fatherless newborn. Jose (my baby's father) went back to the states, got a job, and would send money every month, he missed the first 8 months of our baby's life, it was then, that I decided I should join him, we needed to be together, as a family. I applied for another tourist visa, and since I wasn't going to work I wasn't doing anything Illegal. Then I got pregnant again, 40 weeks later I had my second baby (yeah another one of those anchor babies), and it was then that I decided I really did want to live here, and I should apply for my legal residency. I did so in February '03.
It's now 2008, it's been five years since I filed my application, I haven't done anything illegal on the meantime, I haven't run through a red light, or drove under the influence, or any of those things illegal aliens are best known for. Because I'm on a legalization process, it would be illegal for me to work, so I don't. We live on my husband's moderate income. And it's really hard to afford a family of four with one income, my husband usually works more than two jobs so we can make ends meet. Because I don't want to do anything illegal I have to struggle daily knowing I could be out there with the rest of the "criminals" working to put food on my kids table.
About illegals getting government help or benefits, I cannot speak for anyone but for myself, my family doesn't get any kind of government funded help, we pay our bills and our taxes like everyone else.
So I understand what being illegal means, and I also understand the importance of trying to become legal. But I certainly understand the question that many immigrants face daily in this country To Be or Not to Be. For many to be illegal means being able to work and try to make a better living for their families, for many others like me to be legal (or on the process of it) means to watch your family struggle and know that there's a long wait before you can do anything about it.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Response to comment
This entry is in reply to Mollie's comment.
Mollie, in your comment you asked my views on the immigrants that don't want to learn the language, and if I know anyone like that, if it's a misconception that they don't want to learn and they do want to learn but don't have the opportunity.
Well, in the almost 8 years I've been in this country I haven't met one immigrant legal or illegal from Mexico or any other country that doesn't want to learn English. I cannot speak for every immigrant, but at least the ones I've had the pleasure to meet have all been hard working people who would love to be able to be fluent on the language of their children and their communities.
English as any language takes a long time to learn, you will find out in my upcoming posts that it took me about 7 to 10 years altogether to have the level of proficiency that I now have, and still there are many words that I don't know, many sounds that I haven't and probably will never master, and it's not due to lack of brains or will, it's because the alphabet I learned as a very young child doesn't have many of the sounds (phonetics) of the English alphabet, I know I will never be able to sound "shoe" the right way, my daughter makes sure to remind me of that every time I tell her to tie hers. She says, "Mommy, is shoe, not choe", or I'll never be able to say zoo or Zoe, no matter how many times I practice or how many hours I spend listening to my children speak, trying to get from them some of that easiness of their speech.
I don't believe anyone enjoys not being understood, weather it's at the register at the store or in a case of emergency. I've been there as an interpreter when doctors deliver bad news to terrified parents about their children's health, does anyone really believe that those parents don't wish they knew English?? Are we really that insensitive to believe that "those" people, "those" immigrants choose to be helpless in that kind of situation??
I know a lot of immigrants that with little or no education, try to make a good living for themselves and their children, that work long hours and come home to rush their children to a tutor or an English speaking friend that can help with homework and translating school letters. Wishing they had the time to find an English class, wishing they had the money to purchase those expensive programs that promise you will learn English in the comfort of your living room.
Maybe one day scientist will come with some sort of Language Pill, but till then, I know a lot of immigrants like me, will spend countless hours and dollars trying to learn English, wishing it wasn't so hard, wishing it didn't take so long, wishing they didn't feel so embarrassed when people don't know what you are saying and you know you are trying your best, it sounded right on your head, but somehow your thought got lost in translation.
Mollie, in your comment you asked my views on the immigrants that don't want to learn the language, and if I know anyone like that, if it's a misconception that they don't want to learn and they do want to learn but don't have the opportunity.
Well, in the almost 8 years I've been in this country I haven't met one immigrant legal or illegal from Mexico or any other country that doesn't want to learn English. I cannot speak for every immigrant, but at least the ones I've had the pleasure to meet have all been hard working people who would love to be able to be fluent on the language of their children and their communities.
English as any language takes a long time to learn, you will find out in my upcoming posts that it took me about 7 to 10 years altogether to have the level of proficiency that I now have, and still there are many words that I don't know, many sounds that I haven't and probably will never master, and it's not due to lack of brains or will, it's because the alphabet I learned as a very young child doesn't have many of the sounds (phonetics) of the English alphabet, I know I will never be able to sound "shoe" the right way, my daughter makes sure to remind me of that every time I tell her to tie hers. She says, "Mommy, is shoe, not choe", or I'll never be able to say zoo or Zoe, no matter how many times I practice or how many hours I spend listening to my children speak, trying to get from them some of that easiness of their speech.
I don't believe anyone enjoys not being understood, weather it's at the register at the store or in a case of emergency. I've been there as an interpreter when doctors deliver bad news to terrified parents about their children's health, does anyone really believe that those parents don't wish they knew English?? Are we really that insensitive to believe that "those" people, "those" immigrants choose to be helpless in that kind of situation??
I know a lot of immigrants that with little or no education, try to make a good living for themselves and their children, that work long hours and come home to rush their children to a tutor or an English speaking friend that can help with homework and translating school letters. Wishing they had the time to find an English class, wishing they had the money to purchase those expensive programs that promise you will learn English in the comfort of your living room.
Maybe one day scientist will come with some sort of Language Pill, but till then, I know a lot of immigrants like me, will spend countless hours and dollars trying to learn English, wishing it wasn't so hard, wishing it didn't take so long, wishing they didn't feel so embarrassed when people don't know what you are saying and you know you are trying your best, it sounded right on your head, but somehow your thought got lost in translation.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
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